Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Free Smiles....

*We work out too much. We waste time. A friend of mine runs marathons. He always talks about this "runner's high." But he has to go 26 miles for it. That's why I smoke and drink. I get the same feeling from a flight of stairs.
*Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?" I replied: "Do you want to know?" and I dropped out.
*You know it is time to resume running when...
  • You try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.
  • Your children look through your wedding album and want to know who mom's first husband was.
  • You get winded just saying the words "10 kilometer run".
  • You come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere around your knees.
  • You analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.
  • You step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you are alone".

*Somewhere along the line you’ve probably heard someone say that running is a cheap sport to take up—all you really need is a pair of running shoes. If you’ve been a runner for any length of time, then you know that this is an outright lie.

*All I have to say to Mr. Foxx is that “someday” will be a lot farther off for some of us!
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” – Redd Foxx

Gott any good running jokes?


Anonymous said...

This really isn't a joke but I remember seeing an add in the local paper that said.....treadmill for sale, runs good, I don't, please call Chubby.

Unknown said...

That is funny!!